The Struggles

I'm gonna start this blog post with an apology. Not that I think anyone has noticed but Finch Books has been largely absent on the social media scene for a while now, not to mention on this blog. It's not that I don't want to post on instagram and facebook and twitter every single day, it's just that it's difficult. As the sole employee and owner of this beautiful establishment, I do it all. I come in everyday and make coffee, put out pastries, clean, put out the various displays, fill out the shelves with new books and try to come up with a creative, new, interesting social media post. It's tough. This is also not mentioning everything I do before, during, and after work for my family. I work six days a week by myself and I still have to find time to do laundry, feed my toddler and dogs, clean the house, do dishes, put away toys (both the kid's and the dogs') and go to bed at a reasonable hour so I'm not a zombie when I have to go to work and do it all over again. If it weren't for my husband, my life would literally fall apart. I honestly don't know how single parents do it all on their own. 

I've been at this for nearly three months now and about 90% of the time I feel like I'm losing my mind. The struggles, while small compared to those of others, are real to me. Sales are not where I'd like them to be. I went from spending literally 100% of my time with my beautiful baby girl and now I get to see her for an hour before work and a few hours after work before it's time to put her to bed. I'm, in all likelihood, not going to be able to visit my grandparents this year. I haven't even paid myself a salary, so all this work, stress, and sacrifice seems to have less and less of a point each day. I've also been dealing with a resurgence of my depression and anxiety symptoms since rejoining the workforce. This is something I've dealt with since I was a kid and it's probably something I'll have to deal with, on and off, for the rest of my life. It's not a dangerous situation for me (and never has been) but it does make day-to-day life feel like I'm walking through quicksand. But everytime someone comes into my store and is pleasantly surprised by the cyprus tree seeming to grow through the ceiling or marvels at the black walnut countertop my husband crafted for me or sits down on our comfy, orange, leather sofa and reads a book with their coffee, it fills me with such a sense of accomplishment it makes it all worth it.

The point of this blog has been (and hopefully will continue to be) to show the inner workings of owning a small buisness (specifically a book store) but I also want this place to be a place I can show my true colors. A place I can vent about my problems and boast about my accomplishments. A place I can be funny and serious, or sad and angry. I want to talk about issues I care about and books I love. I want this blog to be a reflection of me and while I may try to act perfect sometimes, I am, like nearly everyone else, far from perfect. So to end this rambling, complain-y blog I'd just like to say this: If you come into the store and you see me behind the counter please understand if my hair is up in a messy bun, I have no makeup on and the bags under my eyes are dark purple. This just means that I'm putting my infant buisness ahead of myself right now and that's the way it has to be. 

All About Me

I realize after writing a few post that some of you reading this might not know me. I'm sure the majority of you reading this now are my family or friends (thanks for the support guys). Some of you might be customers or potential customers (soon-to-be customers?) who might have met me. But some of you might not know me or my store at all. For those of you I'm gonna do one of those old school Myspace questionnaires (remember those?). Here goes nothing:  

1. What is your name? 

My name is Christine Victoria Loney. 

2. What's your favorite sport? 

I'm really not into sports at all but if I had to pick I would say Hockey. That's the only professional sports game I've ever attended. Go Caps!

3. Have a crush <3? 

IRL: my husband. Otherwise Ryan Reynolds. 

4. What is your eye color?

It has been described to me as the color of the cool tranquil waters of the Mediterranean but ya know I just say blue. 

5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 

Physically, I'd like to be a bit shorter. Maybe like 3 or 4 inches shorter. If we're talking personality-wise, I'd rather be a bit more outgoing and less shy around strangers.

6. Are you allergic to anything? if so what? 

I'm not really allergic to anything (got lucky there as both my sisters and my mom suffer from bad allergies.) but I will say even a small amount of dust gives me red, itchy eyes and a scratchy throat so I'm probably allergic to that

7. Have you ever broken a bone? 

Nope. 

8. What's your favorite movie? 

This is really impossible to answer cause I love about 400 different movies but I would say Cabin in the Woods and When Harry met Sally stand out to me. 

9. Books or Movies? 

I kinda have to say books, don't I? I will say this though, books are best when you want to be quiet and have time to yourself and movies are best when you can enjoy them with someone else. So they each have their place and I love them both. 

10. Favorite Book? 

I have many 'favorite' books but my first favorite book is To Kill A Mockingbird

11. What's your favorite website? 

Probably Buzzfeed. I'm on there multiple times a day. I love that I can get my news, decorating ideas, cat videos, and recipes all in the same place. 

12. Favorite Number? 

13. 

13. What's your favorite letter? 

Never thought too much about it but i guess Q. because a KW would look so weird at the beginning of a word like Kwail or Kwiet right? 

14. Do you know all the words to The National Anthem? 

Uh...probably not. 

15. What's your favorite holiday? 

Halloween, no question. 

16. What song mostly describes your life right now? 

Bad Moon Rising? I have no idea. It seems fitting and it also just came on the radio so there ya go. 

17. Who's your favorite band/artist? 

Yeah, I don't really have one. When I really cared about music it went Spice Girls, Britney Spears, Aerosmith, Green Day, Good Charlotte. Then in high school I stopped caring so much about music and now I listen to oldies and 90's music mostly. I guess Queen is probably the one band I can listen to whenever and it would make me smile. 

18. What's your relationship status? 

Married, with child. 

19. Do you exercise? 

Does chasing around a three year old count? 

20. Have you ever thrown up before? If so why? 

I don't know the kind of person that answers no to this question but yes, yes I have. It's been a while and the last time was probably morning sickness. I can't remember if I've thrown up since then but if I did it was probably due to alcohol. Mama likes her wine...and rum...and vodka. You get the point. 

21. Right or Left handed? 

I am the only right handed person in my house right now. Married a lefty, made a lefty. 

22. What's your nickname? 

I don't really have one but my family sometimes calls me Chrissy. 

23. Do you wear makeup everyday? 

Most days I do. Every now and then I'll go makeup free at work and pretty much guarantee on my day off I don't have makeup on.

24. When's your birthday? 

August 10. 

25. How do you feel about YOLO? 

I guess it's ok. Pretty much everyone says it ironically now, right? I dunno. 

26. What's your favorite quote? 

"Monsters are real. Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win."

-Stephen King

27. What's the worst thing that happened to you in your entire life? 

It's between either my parents' divorce or my depression/ADHD diagnosis which both happened the same year. 

28. If you could live in any state, what would it be, and why? 

If I had unlimited funds it would be one of three places. Either Colorado, Southern California or Washington State. Colorado because it's beautiful, clean, and has good schools for the most part. Washington because it's beautiful and I love the idea of living in a North Western Forest-y area but still being close to a major city like Seattle. And California is mainly for the weather. All three of these also have the underlying reason being that I wouldn't get arrested for using the medication of my choice. 

29. What annoys you? 

Politicians, stupid people, stubborn people, hangnails. 

30. What food do you hate the most? 

Bacon, because it's so tempting but I haven't eaten pork since before high school. 

31. Do you have any pets? 

Yes, two dogs. A three-year-old Basset Hound named Louie and a six-year-old Boxer named Quint. 

32. Jeans, skinny jeans, skirts, denim jeans, or crazy patterned tights? 

Regular, somewhat skinny jeans usually. 

33. Do you wear your seat-belt in the car at all times? 

 Absolutely yes I do and I'll get mad at you if you're in my car and you don't. 

34. Do you like this survey? 

Yeah, it's ok. Seems a weird question to ask when it's not over yet but ok...

35. Who's your favorite super hero? 

Deadpool's pretty great. 

36. Is that your natural hair color? 

I don't think purple is a natural color. In fact, I don't think I've had my natural color since I was 15.

37. What color eyes would you like to have? or do you like them just how they are?

I love green eyes but I'm overall happy with my eyes as they are. 

38. Do you look more like your mom or your dad? 

I've been told I look more like my dad then my mom but I can't really see it. 

39. What's your favorite type of food? 

I guess Italian. Give me some pasta, sauce and cheese and I'm good. 

40. What three things could you not live without? 

Food, Water and Air. 

41. Who do you miss right now? 

My baby girl. But she'll be back soon. 

42. On a scale of one to ten, how bored are you right now? 

I would say I'm about a 6. This quiz is pretty fun but after it's over I'll probably slide down to a 2. 

43. When something drops from the bed, you stay on the bed and stretch to get it don't you?

If I can reach it, yeah. Doesn't everyone?

44. How tall are you? 

5'9

45. What's your shoe size? 

Women's 10 or 10 1/2

46. How would you describe your personality? 

Smart ass and pessimistic but hopeful. 

47. What's your favorite kind of cheese? 

The sharpest cheddar you can find. 

48. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? 

Cookies and Cream or Moose Tracks. If we're talking Ben and Jerry's then Half Baked totally hits the spot. 

49. Did you like this survey? 

Well, I did like it until you repeated question 34 and also forgot the 50th question on a "50 Question Survey" but other then that it was great. 

 

Thanks for sticking with me. If you'd like to take this survey here's the link.